运命の夜~

haiz... its another day...another meaningless day to go on...
recently life just go on normally... all the problems between friends solve already, and this time got improve a lot with friends, thats really make me happy alot^^
many things happen in my group of friends, happy, sad, scare, everything...
no matter what happen, we r having fun each other.

last sem lay see introduce a girl from her hometown to me when i was feeling down. lay see say this girl hv same thought as me, that is wish to be die soon. i never aspect lay see tell someone else that i think like that, so geng.
this girl told me she wan die coz the person she love hv gf d. that guy never be her bf, he just know that she love him. i stil remember she told me that the guy is in usm also, she say he angry her dunno wat reason, i think is that she keep nagging with him too much until he angry gua, not sure... she told me she feel really reaally extreamly down coz missing the guy, she cannot eat well sleep well study well coz of thinking about the guy. i told her to slowly let go, but she say cannot do that, all in her mind is the guy only, and she say she sick of missing him and wan to die. i tried to help her that time to calm herself by teaching her how i did when i experience b4, she just follow what i say but the 2nd day she say she fail to do it, then i got nothing to say...

stil remember got one time after her exam she say she did badly. that time she told me her life become worse and worse. as a guy, i did try to help her, but i thik she never listen also, everytime online she sure nagging with me, saying her life really bad, she feel really down, her friend dun wan friend with her, she feel lonely, and so on.... she wite lots of words until i tak sempat read what she write, and every problem she say will end with ''what should i do''. i somehow feel tired reading what she say, somehow i feel anoying and lazy reply what she say,
then she will keep ask ''r u there'' ''what r u doing'' ''u stil alive?'' then the sound of the msn make me feel 'pek cik'. there is nothing i can do except reply her loh, then she wil never end her conversation unitl i say i hv to sleep. even if i say that she sure ask y i sleep so early and 2moro doing what hv to wake up so early. and sometimes when i slow reply her she wil ask is it that i dun like chat with her and she wan me answer honestly, and she say i know what u think coz i can read your mind! of course i wont answer honestly, so i say i bz somethig else, then she will say ''y everyone one so bz, y everyone must leave me like this...'' WTH, it is not that i wan leave u, it is not that i dun wan talk to u, it is the problem that start until end of the conversation she just keep asking solution for her problems. i hv already help her many times, but it seems my way cannot help her, so i ask her to find other ppl help her, but she say others wont help her, and continue nagging again...

hiaz... she should learn how to improve herself. i hv already help her a lot, she must sometimes not depend too much on others. and dun always ask about what i doing and what i thinking, like wan know everything about me. everything i told her like a lie to her. like now im writting this also she stil keep flooding the msn. i told her im bz she dun believ, i told her this time is not the right time to chat she answer that i always lie her. HELLO! im not lying to u! i really BZ! im not like u always free. dunno how long that i hv to stand this... feel bad to block her also... dunno what should i do... hiaz... just need a break!