运命の夜~

today is the day i promised myself to be a new person...
however things not going well, i hv tried to change, but there is always something wrong...
i dunno y my heart feel so heavy when try to change myself?
each time i try to smile, i stil feel the hurt although im not think about the past time...
i tried to speak infront of friends, but i dunno why it is hard to speak out...
i tried to show a happy face infront of friends, however my heart feel heavy and hurt more each time i do it...
i ended up in depression... and the rain started to fall like always... is it another coincidence?
what happen to me? is there something missing to be a new person?
maybe my heart prevent me to be a new person...
maybe im meant to be my old self... all alone with no friend...

i have disappointed my friends...
and i have disappointed myself...
however...i wont give up...
i don't want to disappoint my friend...
i will keep moving on...
just wish that the pain in my heart can be removed soon...