运命の夜~

thank you guys...i didn't really want to drop tears in front of you guys but i did...so shameful...

i really touched by the way you guys support me...i never felt this before after she left...all the time i tried to support my feeling myself but failed many times...until you guys showed me this morning...

however...i still feel hurt a lot each time i try to turn myself on...still very painful...
i saw myself through the mirror again...i was scared by myself...the person in the mirror showed an serious face...his eyes looked so scary...and felt he warned me something...i felt hurt a lot each time i stared at him...and reflected my old self...

i feel like im running away from the truth...am i?...i dunno...

i received a song from my old self after i went back home today...
i forget why i have this song...after i played it...it started to flash back my memory...
this song is from the movie Accuracy of Death(not really this name)
the song named Sunny Day, sing by 小西真奈美,(Konishi Manami)
after i found the true meaning of the song...i felt it might suit how i felt today, but i dun think it is fully true...maybe it is just an coincidence...
here i will share the translated lyric to u guys...the song somehow touched my feeling...if u all wish for the song can get from me...becoz it is too hard to be found...my old self told me...

What spilled out
Wasn’t a tear but a praying voice
What I looked up at
Was the sun above the clouds

I was living like I was asleep
I was always alone
Until the day I met you
I was always, always here

Even if there’s a love song
I could sing by myself
This warmth from the touch of your arms
Can’t be found alone

If I had put on a mask
Then I felt I might have forgotten
I shut away my memories
And locked them in a box

Even in that dark place
I was able to find you
Even if I can’t return
I’ll keep going farther, farther

Even if there’s a love song
That recalls loneliness
I can’t reach it alone
So I’ll walk out once more
Toward the door to tomorrow
With you…

I’ll transform sadness
Into kindness
And someday
Once I’ve set my true self free
The pain will disappear
I know it

I don’t need a love song
I can sing by myself anymore
I can’t find it alone
But with you I know
We can find a place where the sun shines
A tomorrow I’ve never seen